Thursday, August 03, 2006

Top 5 Urban Etiquette Tips

Stolen from an Eye Weekly editorial called 'The Rules' (July 13, 2006)

1) There is one reason to spit in the street: you have realized there is poison in your mouth. Even then, find a garbage can or sewer grate.

2) Proper negative answer to a panhandler: "Sorry." Proper panhandler response: "Have a nice day." (Improper response for either party: "Fuck! You! Bitch!")

3) There is never a good reason to walk four abreast on the sidewalk. Unlink your arms so we can all get where we're going faster.

4) In restaurants and bars with table service, 15 per cent after tax is the standard minimum tip for acceptable service. Don't think it's fair that you have to tip on tax? You're right, it isn't. But you do. Know what else isn't fair? That the livelihood of your server depends on the whims of cheapskates like you.

5) Do not, unless you really have no choice, move your bowels in a stall directly next to one that is already occupied. And please, ladies, stop hovering over the seat and pissing all over it. Your average toilet seat is cleaner than a public telephone.


At 10:34 PM, Blogger Madame Checkit said...

But how will I work my thigh muscles if I'm not hovering over the toilet seat? As for the pee sprinkles, that's usually the result of someone deciding to be fancy and including some rotation with their leg squat.
My cousin never uses a public toilet without layering the entire seat in toilet paper. A typical visit takes her 15 minutes.
:-) Rita
p.s. Miss you Jen!!!Congrats on the new job!

At 5:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The 4 abreast on the sidewalk (although we call them footpaths here) is so spot on it should be set in stone....

Nice Blog by the way and a great movie/book to use for inpsiration


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