JC's Top Five

Top 5 Pics of Kids Getting in the Best Kind of Trouble

2007-01-17T22:40:00.000-05:00

If you have a mom, she probably already emailed these to you, but it's my blog, so deal.

1)

Milk is up there on the top shelf buddy.

2)

Better keep this one out of the bathroom.

3)

I like how the kid on the right looks so uncomfortable. "Mommy, my skin feels crackly."

4)

"Man, I'm in deep doodoo when she puts that camera down, so I better make this smile extra genuine."

5)

Un, you missed a spot there sport. Oh, wait, no you didn't.

Top 5 NFB Films

2007-01-08T22:26:00.000-05:00

Holy schmokes people, where have you been? I haven't seen you since, like, August!! Sheesh.

OK, well now that we've cleared that up, let's not waste any time.

So, yeah top 5 NFB films:

1) The Big Snit

2) The Sweater

3) George and Rosemary

4) The Cat Came Back

5) Neighbours (1952) - OK, OK, this one I hadn't see until today, so thanks to Marion for pointing it out. Of course, she only pointed it out after Kyle sent me this link. The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh?

Top 5 Reasons to Watch 'Good Morning World'

2006-08-13T21:18:00.000-04:00

1) Monday

2) Tuesday

3) Wednesday

4) Thursday

5) Friday

I know, I know, I'm totally cheating, but trust me, it was worth it just to bring these guys to your attention.

Top 5 Urban Etiquette Tips

2006-08-03T21:24:00.000-04:00

Stolen from an Eye Weekly editorial called 'The Rules' (July 13, 2006)

1) There is one reason to spit in the street: you have realized there is poison in your mouth. Even then, find a garbage can or sewer grate.

2) Proper negative answer to a panhandler: "Sorry." Proper panhandler response: "Have a nice day." (Improper response for either party: "Fuck! You! Bitch!")

3) There is never a good reason to walk four abreast on the sidewalk. Unlink your arms so we can all get where we're going faster.

4) In restaurants and bars with table service, 15 per cent after tax is the standard minimum tip for acceptable service. Don't think it's fair that you have to tip on tax? You're right, it isn't. But you do. Know what else isn't fair? That the livelihood of your server depends on the whims of cheapskates like you.

5) Do not, unless you really have no choice, move your bowels in a stall directly next to one that is already occupied. And please, ladies, stop hovering over the seat and pissing all over it. Your average toilet seat is cleaner than a public telephone.

Top 5 Reasons it's too Hot to Post

2006-07-31T22:01:00.000-04:00

1) No A.C.

2) My knees are sweating.

3) My computer is throwing off heat.

4) I couldn't possibly come up with anything clever to say.

5) A cold shower is waiting.

Top 5 Songs That Remind Me of Slow Dancing with Boys

2006-07-26T23:18:00.000-04:00

1) Crazy For You - Madonna

2) Wind of Change - Scorpions

3) November Rain - Guns n' Roses

4) Forever Young - Alphaville

5) Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin

Top 5 Worst Album Covers Ever

2006-07-25T22:02:00.000-04:00

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

With thanks to Boz.

Top 5 Things We Learned From Canada's Next Top Model

2006-07-19T18:41:00.000-04:00

This is adapted from Vinay Menon's Article 'Down to the Underwire' in the Star today - they're too funny not to include them just 'cause I didn't come up with the list.

1) It is possible to smile using only your eyes.

2) Models have the worst fake coughs.

3) Models have trouble hearing foghorns.

4) You can now affix a "y" or "ish" to any word in the English language.

5) When in doubt, a young model should ... SCREAM! Or count to 10 getting progressively more psychotic.

Top 5 Hockey Tips From My Hockey Buddies*

2006-07-18T21:47:00.000-04:00

1) Stay open.

2) Take the shot.

3) Don't give up on the puck.

4) Go to the net.

5) Stay in your lane.

*Much argued over while drinking beers at the Rhino. Dutifully recorded on the back of a band-aid.

Top 5 Things I'll Miss About My Old Job

2006-07-18T21:34:00.000-04:00

1) Nicole's parcels, Georgina's outfits, Lorrie's expressions, Jenny's gardening tips, Sharelle's advice, Amy's stories, and Stefania's soccer talk!

2) Treats! Treats! Treats!

3) Singing in the office.

4) Lunch by the Lake.

5) Benefits. (duh!)

Top 5 Cyril Takayama Magic Tricks

2006-07-11T22:48:00.000-04:00

Cyril Takayama is a performance artist from Hollywood who is, clearly, Big In Japan. I love watching these videos because a) they're freakin' cool; b) Cyril's Japanese is so clear, I can actually catch a few words here and there (and then I feel like a smarty pants); c) I love the particular brand of wackiness that is a Japanese TV program; and d) the sounds that the Japanese make to express awe and amazement are so great! Sore wa sugoi ne.

1) Burger Trick

2) Chopsticks Trick

3) Glass and Card Trick

4) Levitation Trick

5) Candy Trick

With thanks to Big T.

Top 5 Meals in Downtown Toronto for Under $5

2006-07-11T21:37:00.000-04:00

1) A tosta mista (toasted ham & cheese) at Nova Era (770 College St. & others) - $3.75

2) A falafel at Ghazale (504 Bloor St.) - $2.49

3) A slice of calabrese pizza at Amato's (534 Queen St. W. & others) - $4.25

4) A bowl of beef noodle soup at Pho Hung (350 Spadina St.) - $4.25-$5

5) A chicken empanada at Jumbo Empanadas (245 Augusta Ave.) - $3.50

Top 5 Cuties in Hockey

2006-07-06T16:30:00.000-04:00

1) Sydney Crosby

2) Cam Ward

3) Eric Lindros

4) Eric Staal

5) Martin Brodeur

Top 5 Totally Awesome 80s & 90s Videos

2006-07-05T22:38:00.000-04:00

Asia - Heat of the Moment

Great hair, Great tune!

A-Ha - Take On Me

Still cool. Where's my comic strip boyfriend?

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

This one's really worthing sticking with until the end -- keep your eyes peeled for creepy, bright-eyed choir boy (who flies!)

Journey - Seperate Ways (Worlds Apart)

Oh Steve Perry. You're so earnest. Why doesn't anyone really mean it like you do anymore?

INXS - Need You Tonight/Mediate

It's really the Mediate video that I'm loving here, but Need You Tonight is still a damn fine song. And best of luck to you J.D., but far as I can tell, you got nothing on Michael.

Thanks to Pitchfork for the inspiration.

Top 5 Sites for Finding Phone Numbers

2006-07-05T22:07:00.000-04:00

1) Canada 411 - good for numbers in Canada (no duh, eh?)

2) Switchboard.com - good for US numbers

3) Infobel - for numbers in the rest of the world

4) GEDS - for finding people in the Canadian government so they can trap you in voicemail hell

5) World Time Server - OK, this one doesn't really help you find numbers, but it does tell you what time it is in Djibouti, so when you call your buddy there, he won't be mad at you for waking him up, and he'll still give you the number for his cute cousin who's visiting Toronto next week

Top 5 Albums to Listen to While Painting Trim

2006-07-04T20:29:00.000-04:00

1) Rufus Wainwright - Self-titled

2) Bruce Springsteen - We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions

3) Paul Simon - Graceland

4) Postal Service - Give up

5) Abba - Gold

Top 5 Reasons I'd Make a Good Wife to an Aging Rockstar

2006-07-04T20:19:00.000-04:00

1) I can actually sing: when he gets old and nostalgic and wants to include his family in future albums, I won't be an embarassment.

2) I have a thing for crinkly-eyed men.

3) I'm kinda' ok at catching things, so when he falls out of a tree, I'm there.

4) No pornstar past to speak of.

5) I know a thing or two about rockin' out.

Top 5 Inspirations for JC's Top Five

2006-07-04T19:01:00.000-04:00

1) Rob Fleming

2) C.H.'s ever-evolving list of top five crushes

3) Sharelle

4) Boredom

5) My high-larious roommate